Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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