She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
is it fun? or sober?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
