You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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