I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
