a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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