I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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