Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize