take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
