If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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