I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
