His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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