Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize