But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
