Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
