Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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