i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize