i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
