I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
