I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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