Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
