I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
