actually, I'm a sock model
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize