i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
