No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
