I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
