I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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