So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
