do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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