dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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