cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
