im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
