Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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