he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
