32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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