he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
