dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
