I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
