and my herpes radar will keep us safe
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
operation have a gay friend backfired
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize