Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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