i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
