I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
