If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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