I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
