Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
