I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
