Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
