You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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