Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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