is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
