this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize