Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you still have your period?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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