I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
one two three fourrrrnication!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
