pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
