My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
