Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
