So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
