I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
