He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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