after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
