i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize