i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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