Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
