We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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